Surviving a Shooting and CBD

INTRODUCTION

 

Matt:

Hi, I’m Matt,

 

Dee Dee:

And I’m Dee Dee. We are the hilarious outcome of opposing brains, sharing a mutual desire to share knowledge and positive thinking about him and cannabis.

 

WELCOME

 

Matt:

We are here to tear down the walls built by big pharma and other big companies that seek to keep the human race and fear and divided.

 

Dee Dee:

We are here to shatter the myths about hemp and cannabis, and change the stigma of this amazing plant. Welcome to Hemp and Happiness with the Hemp Queen

 

Matt:

And Emperor Podcast.

 

Dee Dee:

Join us as we enter into this misunderstood and the unknown.

 

SURVIVING A SHOOTING AND CBD

 

Matt:

Hello, happy hempsters out there. Welcome to another edition of Hempin Happiness. Uh, this is going to be a much different addition than what you’re probably used to. Dee Dee is actually out sick today. She completely lost her voice, so there’s absolutely no way she could have done the podcast. So, we’re going to switch gears, talk about something kind of personal to me today, and I decided that the best way to do this would probably be to in, uh, reintroduce our, uh, store lead who works at both of our stores. So, Canna Beth, uh, refresh the audience as to who you are, uh, what you do. And, um, I think you have an exciting announcement as well. 

 

Cannabeth:

I’m Beth Pinti. I work at 502 Hemp on Moser Road in Middletown, and also at the 812 Hemp that we just opened in Clarksville. I am a CBD consultant, THC consultant. If you need help trying to figure out what products right for you, you can come and see me, uh, train at all the people that, uh, we have at the stores, um, so that they know how to, to find a product for you as well. So you don’t have to just see me, you can see anybody else at our store, too.

 

Matt:

Excellent. Beth is also a paranormal investigator.

 

Cannabeth:

Yes, that’s my side gig.

 

Matt:

Um, go ahead. Tell us a little

 

Cannabeth:

Bit about that and Yeah. SERIOUS Paranormal is in Louisville, Kentucky. It’s a team of investigators. We’ve been doing this for about 20 years now. And if you have, um, issues with, uh, uh, energy interferences at your home, maybe a little ghostly activity. We, we have people that call us and we come and we use scientific equipment to investigate, um, try to find answers, try to help people manage through, um, their experiences, things like that. We also do tours locally. Um, we, we have things that EP Tom saw your park on a yearly basis that used to be, um, Lakeland Asylum or Central State Asylum. That property, it’s, it’s, uh, very active. So we have a lot of people that like to come out there at night with us and, and see what happens in the park once it’s closed. That’s a, a really popular place that we do. And yeah, we’re hoping to have a podcast out soon, so keep your eye out for that. SERIOUS Paranormal podcast.

 

Matt:

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So you, you heard it first here?

 

Cannabeth:

Yes. First announcement. Announcement. Ever podcast

 

Matt:

<laugh> come in your way. Yes.

 

Cannabeth:

Spooky stuff.

 

Matt:

Yes. Um, alright. So now that we’ve, we’ve, we’ve gotten that out of the way, um, and the reintroduction of Beth, um, I have, uh, decided that for this episode, uh, I want to tell the story, um, of when I was shot. Um, this is, uh, a story that a lot of people ask me about. I’m not big on telling the story. It’s not my favorite thing to talk about. I do inject a lot of humor when I tell it because it’s such a serious thing, but I do, I think that the story needs to be told. There’s been some recent events, uh, you know, I’ve had some health issues. I’m not dying or anything y’all, uh, but it’s kind of woken me up and made me realize that I, I should tell the story should be recorded. Beth is, is going to ask questions as she sees fit that you all might ask afterwards. If you all have any, uh, questions, please feel free to message, uh, us and, and whatever platform. Uh, just qualifying though, uh, a couple things I don’t talk about. I don’t talk about the afterlife, I just don’t think it’s appropriate. I did die during this event. There’s a reason why you don’t know what, what happens when you die. Um, and it’s not my responsibility to share that. And even if I could share it, I don’t know that the experience is describable, so I don’t talk about it.

 

Cannabeth:

I was gonna ask you, did you have an experience? Yeah. So you, you did. And that would be very personal and different for everybody

 

Matt:

Probably. Yeah. But I am gonna tell you all about what dying feels like. The most unique experience. I, I just don’t talk about what happens after that.

 

Cannabeth:

Gotcha. That, that’s for me to talk about, not you, right,

 

Matt:

<laugh>. Yeah.

 

Cannabeth:

Yeah.

 

Matt:

Sure. Yes. There’s a lot of things here that are maybe a little disturbing. So if, if you’re not, if you’re easily disturbed or upset, you should probably not listen to this podcast. Also, if you don’t like the way I deal with the humor of, of the, the situation too bad life is, you know, like the Shakespearean play as you like, it, it’s a comedy, it’s a tragedy. It’s both, it really all, uh, is contingent on how you interpret, uh, your experiences and how you choose to live your life. So, uh, with that being said, it was the first week of August in 2002. I was working on a house, flipping a house, uh, with another individual. And we were way behind. I was contracted to build log cabins, work on log cabins in Southern California. Um, so I was under the gun. And what do you do when situations like that arise?

Of course, you go on a fishing trip, which is exactly what we did. And we drank a lot. We caught a lot of fish. We had a great time. Um, and actually on the ride home, we really talked a lot about this house and how we needed to get it done and how I was days away from leaving for California. And we didn’t have it market ready. So we thought it would be a good idea to not even go home, just to go directly to the job site and, uh, work on this house, which we did. And, um, I think we had a couple beers and we smoked some pot. We worked till right around midnight. And right about that time we were packing up tools in my truck. And, uh, a group of, I think five men walked by and asked what time it was. I told ’em what time it was. Um, they disappeared about two, three minutes later, uh, they walked back and produced the gun and robbed us.

 

Cannabeth:

Were you at the house? Yes. When that

 

Matt:

Happened. Okay. We were at the house. So this was a professor’s neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio. Um, pretty much on the OSU campus. Um, not a bad neighborhood at all. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, close to the city, but un this was a nice house. This wasn’t a student house by any means. This was a house that would probably go to a professor or a someone of that caliber. Um, it was an older home, uh, older neighborhood. Uh, but anyway, so, uh, we gave them what we had. Um, and, uh, one thing that I did not give them, uh, wa was my cell phone because I didn’t particularly want to, cuz I fully intended to call the police. As soon as they’d left, they patted me down, found my phone, took it pretty much when we thought it was over. And, uh, even the guy was with said, man, you, you have everything that we have.

The one, the guy holding the gun, put the gun point blank to the back of my head and pulled the trigger. And, uh, at that point, which, uh, he wasn’t expecting it, or I, I, my, my partner wasn’t expecting it. Uh, I wasn’t expecting it. I don’t even know if the rest of the people in the group were expecting it that were, was robbing us. Because the last thing I remember was trying to, what was thinking to myself? Did I just get shot and trying to swing, like, swing around and punch the guy? Um, which of course did not happen. But the last thing I saw as I was swinging around was just everyone running. And then I hit the ground and, uh, realized I’d most definitely gotten shot in the head. And, uh, I was in real trouble. Uh, the first thing that I noticed was that I was not breathing, which is weird, um, because your body makes more noise than you realize. When it breathes, you’re just breathing is quite a noisy activity. But because we do it from birth, we don’t notice. The second thing I noticed, uh, was that my heart was not beating, uh, because, uh, again, your heart is incredibly loud. We don’t realize this because a again, it’s just a sound that we’re completely immersed in our entire lives. Uh, but when it’s gone, you notice mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and I remember laying there, I was unable to close my eyes just laying there and thinking it’s so silent.

 

Cannabeth:

Do you feel like it really stopped beating at that point and you stopped breathing at that point? Or that you were maybe out of your body and you did not hear or feel those things?

 

Matt:

Oh, no, I was still, I was still within my body. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I mean, my brain had not died yet. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, just my motor functions had ceased to function. There was a, a brief moment, maybe of panic. Um, and then really just an overwhelming, uh, calming mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and again, you know, I, I tried to shut my eyes, but I couldn’t. So I just slowly watched everything fade away. Then, uh, I came back. And when I came back, that was a quite an experience. Uh, because my, my, the, the first thing I that happened was I, I took an enormous breath, the biggest breath that I can ever think of taking in my life. So much so that I felt, I felt like my chest rose. Uh, I don’t know if it did or not. Um, and my heart started beating again. So I thought, okay, well here we go. I’m not dead, but I’m in trouble. So, uh, uh, I thought the best thing to do would just be to not move, uh, which I did. And, uh, after a while, <laugh>, no one was coming around. I was just there, uh, by myself. And, uh,

 

Cannabeth:

What happened to the guy you were working with? He took off.

 

Matt:

So, okay. So when the, when the gunshot went off, he took off running, to my knowledge, to this day, has not forgiven himself for why. I mean, that’s, that’s up to him.

 

Cannabeth:

That’s instinct. Yeah. I mean, run away.

 

Matt:

Well, and that’s what I told him. I said, well, what were you gonna do? Say, yeah, me next. You’re right. Or I want to get shot too. Right, right. Of course you’re gonna run. He went into shock. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, he hid for probably, I, I think somewhere between 20 and 40 minutes. Wow. In a, I think in a shed or something before he came to his senses and found a, a, a house and called, uh, 9 1 1. Wow. So I was there, you know, somewhere around 45 minutes to an hour laying there.

 

Cannabeth:

That’s amazing that, yeah. You survived

 

Matt:

That. So then, um, during this time, I, I’ve been laying there for so long, I thought, well, I might have to try to get myself out of this. Uh, let me see if I can move. So the first thing I did was move my, my toes around a little bit, and they kind of worked, and I moved my fingers and my fingers kind of worked. And, um, I just tried, tried to very, very slowly, gently move. And I seemed to be able to move a little bit. So I thought, well, hey, I, I’m not like, I can move. I have some control of my body, so that’s good. Uh, so anyway, so, so then this police officer shows up and it, the gra the driveway had not been paved yet, was on gravel. Um, and he, I can hear his footsteps. It is crunching. And he’s circling around me with a notepad, taking notes.

 

Cannabeth:

He thought you were dead.

 

Matt:

Yeah. Not look, not looking, not making eye contact with me, just, just walking around. And then, so after like the second or third lap, I thought to myself, he, he doesn’t know I’m still alive.

 

Cannabeth:

Yeah. Because most people do not survive as shotgun to the head.

 

Matt:

Right. <laugh>. So, um, I was like, I gotta let this guy know. So I said, Hey, uh, man, are you gonna call an ambulance or something? And right when I did that, he was like, oh my

 

Cannabeth:

God, <laugh>.

 

Matt:

Oh. And he just started freaking out, got on the radio, you know, we didn’t allow ambulance here now. Oh my gosh. So the next thing I know, I, I was close to OSU so they took me obviously to OSU, Ohio State University Hospital, which was a, a very good hospital, I imagine still is. I have several friends actually that graduated from there the whole time. And I mean, he’s just out of his mind. And as they’re picking me up, he goes, ah, I’ve been on the force over 20 years and I’ve never seen anything like this. And I’m thinking to myself, ah, shit, this is really bad. Yeah. <laugh>. Um hmm. So also when they, when they picked me up, I realized that was, I was in a pool and I was soaking wet. And what I came to realize was I was in a pool of my own blood, and, and I did kind of, it was weird cuz I felt it dripping off me.

So then I’m in the ambulance, and, and the first thing I, I asked the people that are working on me in the ambulance, I said, Hey man, like, how bad is it? And the ambulance driver says, man, it’s nothing like that. Bullet bounces right off your head. You’re gonna wake up tomorrow feeling like you got the worst hangover your life. And I’m like, and I go, are you serious? And he says, yeah. And I thought, okay, cool. Like, maybe it’s not that bad. Right. So I’m like, get me in. They pull me into the, to the emergency room and this doctor looks at me and goes, oh my God. And <laugh>. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck?

 

Cannabeth:

Because two people have acted in complete shock, and the ambulance driver or Yeah. EMT is saying, oh, you’re gonna be fine.

 

Matt:

You’re good. And I didn’t realize this at the time, and I, I’m not sure that it’s this way. And I, I just to qualify, I’m not blaming anyone for this, but the fir the very first thing they did was so, so up the, the hole, the, in the back of my head, as best they could, uh, put a neck brace on me. And, and they put me in recovery. And the reason why they did that is because as I learned later, like if, apparently if you die on the operating table, there’s a higher chance of a, of, of the lawsuit. So they looked at me and was like, this guy’s dead. He’s just not dead yet. Wow. So let’s,

 

Cannabeth:

But you’re talking fine and everything <laugh>.

 

Matt:

Okay. So, oh, it gets better. It gets better. Right. <laugh>. So, um, so they’re like, oh, sew ’em up, you know, put ’em in the, over here. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Uh, so then they do that and a a doctor comes to visit me. She starts go, she’s like, you’ve been shot in the head. The bullet’s still in your head. Um, we’ve sewn you up. We’re gonna do the best we can for you, yada, yada, yada. Do you have any questions for me? And when she said that, I said, well, funny, you should ask, I do have a question for you. Am I going to die? And I asked just that way, very man matter of factly. And, uh, I said, you know, I’ve, I’ve, and I’ve followed that up with, I’ve been told, uh, I’ve been told a lot of different things between now and then, and I’d like to know, uh, what’s going on.

And she said, well, I’m, I’m, you, you know, you give me an honest question, I’m gonna give you an honest answer. The bullet’s not gonna kill you because if the bullet was gonna kill you, you, you’d already be dead and you’re not. But with the amount of trauma you’ve sustained in the amount of brain damage that you’ve sustained, uh, you’re not gonna live the night. And I said, oh, you know what? Fair, totally fair. Thank you for being honest. And I said, I have, uh, friends and family that I’m hoping are getting word of this. I said, I’d like to say goodbye to as many people as possible before this is all said and done. So if you could put, and I, I rem I remembered that. I said, so if you can put me in like a refrigerator or some form of su suspended animation to prolong my life just so I can say to goodbye to as many people as possible, that would be great.

And she laughed and said, well, you know, I can’t stick you in a refrigerator <laugh>, um, but I’ll do the best I can to keep you alive for as long as I can. And I said, that’s fair. So, and this was after I was, uh, arguing with the, uh, nurses not to take my belt off cuz I just bought a brand new belt and they were trying to cut my clothes off. And I was like, I just bought this shit brand new belt. It’s like, and I was, by the way, I was very poor at the time. So a new belt was a, a, a serious purchase for me. So they leave me in recovery and I don’t die. And the next morning I’m still alive. So another doctor comes in, a surgeon and says, Hey, uh, you know, we’d like to do surgery on you.

It’s, it’s risky. We, we wanna move forward, uh, but we need to, to you to sign a waiver. And I said, okay, well, um, you know, what are my chances of survival? And he looked at me and he said, somewhere between 20 and 40%. And I said, okay, well what’s my chances without the surgery? And he said, 0%. Oh wow. You’re gonna die if we don’t, if we don’t operate on you. And I said, well, what are you asking me for the waiver? Like, why are you asking? Just give it to me. Like, duh, let’s do this. So he gives me the waiver, um, which of course I, I sign and I agree to. Um, and then they, they do the surgery where they basically, they, they tried to remove the bullet, but apparently, um, you know, my heart stopped during the surgery. So they left the bullet alone.

Uh, it’s not a full bullet by the way. It’s a, it’s a fragment. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Okay. Uh, because some of it’s skidded up the, like the jackets skidded up top of my head. Um, some of it came back out and hit the back of my truck. Um, and then some of it just went into my brain. And, uh, it’s in my, uh, medulla, which is pretty much the worst place you can have a brain injury. Uh, which ironically was not, uh, the worst, uh, part, the worst part was that w when the bullet, uh, fractured my skull, it shot all kinds of fragments into my frontal lobe. Um, which, uh, there was a lot of concern of scarring. Uh, even the surgery to remove the skull fragments and the various fragments, uh, the scarring was, was a huge concern and a huge issue. Um, whether or not that had a long-term effect on me, I don’t know.

I think I passed the elevator test pretty good. Mm-hmm. <laugh>, um, you know, frontal load does a, has a lot of mooD regulation and stuff, but I was just as much of an asshole back then as I am today. So I have no idea to change anything. Well, maybe I, I mean, who, who knows, right? I, I, I can’t tell. Can’t compare. Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So they do the surgery. Um, brilliant job, obviously, cuz I’m still here and I wake up maybe two or Uber or three days later. Um, and, uh, had a lot of, uh, friends and family around. And, um, they actually had me in the prison portion of the hospital with where they put the prisoners, uh, so that there could be an armed guard there. Uh, because obviously there, there was concern that, uh, the, the individuals who tried to kill me would come back to finish me off because at that point I’m a witness.

Right. Um, so I was in the hospital for three days after that, maybe four. And, um, I remember that the officer came into my room. Oh. And I had great fun. And between then, I mean, I, because I was still under the impression that I was gonna die, it was just a matter of time. So, I mean, uh, oh. Oh yeah. So this is the best. So then when I wake up after the surgery, I gotta tell this part. Um, I walk in and they’re like, Hey, we gotta test your reflexes. And I had some, um, obviously there was some residual effect. Uh, part of my tongue was paralyzed. Some of my face was, was just weird. Little parts of my body didn’t function properly. It actually came back really quick. Mm-hmm. I was one of the first things that came back. Um, but it was a, it was a struggle. So one of the ways they test, uh, your reflexes, as I now know, um, is rectally. Oh, okay. That is, that is one of the core tests. And they do that by sticking their finger in your butt hole.

 

Cannabeth:

<laugh>. I was a nurse and I never had to do that, thank goodness. But, um, yeah, there’s other ways to, to do that, but I’m sure that’s,

 

Matt:

I I highly recommend it against it. But they insisted. Um, and, uh, so that, that doctor became Dr. Jelly finger. Right. Which the nurses loved. And then, you know, there were, I was he heavily medicated. So I would wake up and tell the nurses I had to pee and they’d say, honey, you, you have a catheter and you, you don’t, you don’t ha you, you just go ahead and pee. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> there, there’s nothing. Um, I woke up one, uh, one evening and got myself into the bathroom and they, you know, they put, they put a halo on your head mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, and with screws like into your skull when they’re doing brain surgery. Well, I thought it, for some reason I thought it was a zit. Like I had this massive welt on my head and I’m squeezing it. Oh, no. And as every time I squeeze it, I, I’m like, like I see stars, like I’m gonna pass out.

And then I forgot. Squeeze it again. Oh. Um, I had this one orderly fit to kill me because I, um, I kept waking up and pulling off my little monitor mm-hmm. <affirmative> on my finger. Um, because I kept, I was like, oh, what’s this? Yeah. Oh, what’s this? I mean, and he, like, he had me taped from like the wrist down Yeah. To keep this thing on my hand. But anyway, um, you know, you got, you gotta laugh. Like, that was my, my, my thing. I was like, Hey, I’m not gonna sit here and wait to die. I’m gonna sit here and, and entertain myself. All right. Enjoy myself and hopefully give some enjoyment to the people around me.

 

Cannabeth:

All right. In all of this bad situation, that’s what you should do.

 

Matt:

Right. Exactly. Exactly. So I’m trying to give you all the full story here. That’s why I’m kind of going back and forth, by the way. Um, I don’t have this like, perfectly refined in my head. So anyway, um, surgery was a success three or four days later, um, guard leaves. And I said, well, that’s all the hospital hospitalization I need. Um, get me outta here. Cause I’m not gonna wait for someone to come to my unguarded room to finish me off <laugh>. So, uh, they highly recommended against it, but I, I, I wasn’t, I wasn’t having it. Um, and, uh, because I was supposed to be in California, did I mention, no, I was already supposed to be in California pretty much at, at that point. Um, and I didn’t want my employer at the time to know what had happened because I was afraid I was gonna lose my job in California.

So I was like, uh, having people call and say I was on a job and stuff. They ended up finding out and they still, uh, con they, they still continued with my contract luckily. But, um, anyway, so, uh, I didn’t have a place to live, so I checked myself out, stayed, uh, at, at a, a friend of mine’s, um, guest room for like two, three weeks till I, till I was quote unquote capable enough to drive myself to California. Wow. I, I, I hadn’t regained the ability to read yet. And that includes road signs. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I actually had to kind of drive to California, uh, by prediction, <laugh> by, by direction. So you had a general idea,

 

Cannabeth:

No therapy when you were released from the hospital. Yeah. I think you’re trying to do everything on your own and, and kind of testing out the waters to see what was still working and what doesn’t work.

 

Matt:

<laugh>. And that was the, that was the thing too, cuz they told me that I wouldn’t, um, I wouldn’t be able to drive anymore. Right. Uh, at least for a long time.

 

Cannabeth:

You’re just stubborn. I think that’s what I’m getting through this whole story is your stubborn

 

Matt:

<laugh>. I went, I actually went to the DMV before I last left and told them that I lost my license and paid like the 20 bucks Wow. And got my license. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so, um, yeah. So I made it to California. It was like a couple extra days, um, because obviously I, I went the wrong direction more than once. Um, and then I, I started rehabbing myself in California reading Dick and Jane and picking up sponges with my toes and Right, right. I just did it all, all on my own. Uh, wow. And it was, it was, it was tough. Uh, so that’s, uh, that was, that was pretty much the end of that event. Um,

 

Cannabeth:

How, how was your wound in the back? Did you, were you able to take care of

 

Matt:

That? Yeah. Yeah. So I, I, I, uh, I didn’t get it wet for a while. And then, um, I had, uh, stitches falling out of, fallen out of it forever. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and I also had a lot of shrapnel, uh, that would work its way outta my head. Oh my goodness. So, you know, I had one work, work its way up into my ear, uh, to where I, you know, I felt like there was like a bead in my ear, and then finally it would just pop out. It was just a little, little scraps of almost looked like, uh, needles. I don’t know if it was from the, um, like from the gun powder or from the bullet casing itself. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, there were weird little pieces of metal. Right. Like, tiny, larger than a grain of sand, but not much. Wow. And sometimes there were like little needle looking things, but tiny little mm-hmm. <affirmative> sharp little things. Uh, that was, you know, I’d scratch my head and they’d fall out. Yeah. I had a big piece fall outta my head, uh, that looks, that almost looked like a penny. Oh. I think where the impact had flattened out the casing mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And instead of that piece, like going into my brain, it like skidded up uhhuh

 

Cannabeth:

<affirmative>

 

Matt:

<laugh> skidded up my skull. Gosh. Uh,

 

Cannabeth:

Well, not a lot of people survive, you know, a gunshot wound to the head and can tell about what the after effects would be, you know? Yeah. So to have that happening, that’s pretty Yeah. Hard to live with though, because you ha do you feel like, um, you kind of never knew what was gonna happen moment to moment? Like, am I gonna forget how to read or forget how to move my legs? Were you ever in like, fear or what is gonna come outta my head next? That’s kind of what I’m

 

Matt:

Thinking. You know, I never really thought about that. Um, I did for a long time, a long time, uh, believe that I was going to die. Okay. Um, uh, it would, it just hadn’t happened yet. Right. Um,

 

Cannabeth:

You kind of felt like eventually it’s gonna Yeah.

 

Matt:

I like, I can’t, I can’t survive, you know, like I, I tried to treat every day as a gift, but I was really struggling, uh, struggling financially, struggling emotionally struggling mentally, uh, it was a struggle mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, but I didn’t ever give up.

 

Cannabeth:

I know you did it <laugh>. Um,

 

Matt:

It was, I mean, there were times when, a lot of times when I wanted to, but I never did give up. But yeah, it was, it, it was that and the, and then the why, you know, because I didn’t particularly at the time have a high opinion of myself and, uh, certainly didn’t think I was deserving of a second chance. Um, and I felt like there were a lot of people who were, uh, so, you know, I guess you kind of do that sometimes when things happen. Like, why did this happen to me? Why, why, why,

 

Cannabeth:

Why, why survivor’s guilt and things like that.

 

Matt:

Oh, why, like, what’s now why did I come back? What’s my mission? What’s my,

 

Cannabeth:

What’s my purpose? Responsibility? Right.

 

Matt:

Um, I spent a lot, I wasted a lot of time on that before I realized that that’s not one that, that’s not even for me to consider or contemplate. You know, it’s, it’s my job to live my best life. It’s my job to help as many people as I can, share my experiences, uh, share whatever wisdom I I can. And you know, when, when that final day does come, hopefully my, my good deeds will be just one tick or two ticks above my bad deeds. Um, and I would be happy with that. Um, and that’s, that’s how I’ve chosen to live my life. And, you know, adopting, you know, the d the dao philosophy as best I can. I’m a shitty daoist. I’m also a shitty Buddhist <laugh>. Uh, but I love, you know, I, I subscribe to the philosophies and I do my best to live my life under those guidelines.

And we all should, you know, that should be our purpose is to make the plate the world a better place.

Yeah. Well, and I think you,

 

Cannabeth:

No matter what has happened to

 

Matt:

Us. Right. And I don’t think, and I also think that that’s, you know, people get so wrapped up in the afterlife Oh. And what’s gonna happen when, when I die? What’s gonna happen when I die? Well, what’s gonna happen when you live? Right. Right. I mean, if you think about it, I mean, death is forever. Life is a very, is very short. Right. So if you concentrate on being a good person and, and having a happy life, I think the afterlife pretty much will take care of yourself.

 

Cannabeth:

Care yourself. Right. Exactly. I

 

Matt:

Mean, exactly. You know, and

 

Cannabeth:

Yeah. And people can live in fear of death, afraid to do anything, but they’re also at the same time fearing life. They’re, they’re scared to do anything. Yeah. So you’re, you’re losing both.

 

Matt:

Yeah. You can’t, and that’s another thing too, was learning how to manage fear. Because after that incident, um, I had, there was a long time where I had no fear of death and I, and no fear really, of anything. And that was not healthy either. Right. Um, because I, I would throw myself, myself in a very dangerous situations with very dangerous people and very dangerous circumstances having no care mm-hmm. <affirmative> of, of what happened because I didn’t, because I didn’t care. Right. Uh, I, I mean, it didn’t, it didn’t matter to me, um, whether it was today, tomorrow, next week, next year. Uh, and I was very lucky after I survived that to survive, uh, the, that lack of fear. And I still don’t fear death. I have no fear of death. Right. At all. Right. Uh, but I do realize that I have a responsibility to myself and the people around me to live a good life, be a good person, not, you know, take acceptable risks, but not immerse myself in insane danger.

Right. Um, and I still temper that even today because, you know, I work out and injure myself and push myself beyond the limits perpetually, which is something I work on. And it’s, I think part of that is because I know that you only get one shot. Right. You know, I mean, and, you know, unless you subscribe to reincarnation, in which case, you know, come back as a cow or <laugh>, <laugh>, you know? Right on. And That’s right. Um, but yeah. But you have to live your, I I guess that the, the, if there’s any overall, like Grant 5,000 foot moral to the story, it’s, you have to live your, your life. Right. And you have to live it every day like it’s your last day. Right. And accept that the next day, you’re, you, you, you are who you choose to be, but your life expectancy was just reduced by one day. Right.

 

Cannabeth:

<laugh>.

 

Matt:

Exactly. You know? Exactly. And it does, it doesn’t get longer. It only gets shorter.

 

Cannabeth:

So, yeah. No, I mean, we learned that as we get older.

 

Matt:

Yeah. Not, and not that you should be anxious about that, but just understand how precious your time is and how important your time is. And if you were put on this earth, it’s, it, it, it’s a, it’s a blessing regardless of how you might feel about it or the emotions that you might deal with. And if you don’t like who you are, you don’t like your situation unless you’re physically locked in a basement chain, which God forbid, I hope nobody listening to this is you can change your life. You can wake up tomorrow and be a whole different person. It’s 100% up to you mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, on every level. And it, it, it, it, it sounds that easy. And in some ways it’s not that easy. But in some, some ways it is. 

 

Cannabeth:

Um, I think a lot of people compare their lives to other people and, you know, I’m not as good as them, or they’re better than me, or they can do this, and I can’t, you, we need to focus on being the best. Beth. I can be the best met. I Yeah. I can be, instead of trying to set standards that are for other people, you know? Yeah. And to focus on that, we, we get so outside of ourselves when we take it inside and realize we have the power to do things on our own. We are in control of our lives, our bodies, our emotions, our thoughts. Yeah. And taking that control.

 

Matt:

Well, and I, yeah. And a lot of that is because obviously we’re societal animals and, and we, we absorb so much from, um, the culture around us and, and what we surround ourselves by. And it, it’s even hard. It gets harder and harder to remove ourselves from that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, there’s a, uh, there’s a famous Buddhist monk who quote was quoted as saying, I am who you think, I think you want me to be

 

Cannabeth:

<laugh>. Right. Exactly.

 

Matt:

You know, which is we crazy. And we do that,

 

Cannabeth:

But true through our lives though. I mean, we’re always trying to people please. Right. You know, and, and our parents are setting standards for us and things like that. Right. In society.

 

Matt:

Well, and also the Buddha, you know, I am not what you think I am, you are what you think I am. So, you know, I, I, uh, we, we really need to think about that. And I think about those things probably more, more than a lot of people. Right. Because I’m, I’m aw, awoken to it. Right. Um, but you know, you, you’re not who other people see you as. And if, if you can remove yourself from your own mind, uh, through, through meditation or however, uh, as long as it’s not, you know, crazy drugs, um, I, I think you you’ll benefit for that as an indivi individual, and that you can then return that to, uh, the societal setting and offer more. Right. 

 

Cannabeth:

So, all right. We all uplift each other if we’re all trying to be our best.

 

Matt:

Absolutely. A hundred percent. Yeah. 

 

Cannabeth:

So, so, um, did they ever catch the person?

 

Matt:

A lot of people asked me that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. 

 

Cannabeth:

So I have to know.

 

Matt:

Um, and, and here, I guess there’s a couple things that I should probably cla clarify here. Um, they never caught the person, um, at that time in my life, um, it was believed that it was, uh, gang related. Well, I’m just gonna be completely honest here. There was some people in my life, uh, at that time that didn’t mind, wouldn’t mind seeing my death. Uh, there were people that owed me money that were one person in particular that was quite afraid of me, who could have possibly coordinated that. Um, we’ll never know. Uh, I hope that it wasn’t, because I, I imagine the guilt of that, that I don’t harbor any ill feelings towards anyone, uh, because even though this experience was horrible, I wouldn’t be who I am without it. And I, I wouldn’t be able to share and offer what I can share and offer if I had not had the experience, even though I wouldn’t wish not anyone. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the, the police were genuinely disinterested in finding out who did it. Uh, there was a lot of evidence that they didn’t, um, deal with or follow through with. And I, I, at this point in my life, I actually have a lot of police officer friends, um, and some of the things I’ve told them about they, they can’t believe.

 

Cannabeth:

Well, and they’re probably very thankful you were alive. Yeah. You know, and they’re like, well, there’s no murder here, so let’s move on <laugh>.

 

Matt:

Well, and, and to make matters worse, uh, not worse, but to complicate things, there, there were other people in my life who wanted vengeance very badly. And who maybe took to the streets to look for that

 

Cannabeth:

You’re a better person now than you were back then. I’m a better person. Sound like you had a lot of enemies.

 

Matt:

I’m a better person now than I was back then. Um, but not, I, I, that, that was just through working on myself, making the choice to be who I want to be and not let, not letting my environment decide or my circumstance decide who I was. Which, cuz any criminal you meet has got a awesome story on how they became a criminal. Mm-hmm. And how it’s not really their fault mm-hmm. <affirmative> and how society, family circumstances made them who they are, and they’re Right. But if you listen to any, you know, true hero to our society, uh, who contributes and it puts forth effort and is caring and chooses to educate, they’ve got the same story. Right.

 

Cannabeth:

Right.

 

Matt:

They just choose, they just chose differently. Exactly. And it took me a while to figure that out.

 

Cannabeth:

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So yeah. We, we, we can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to it Exactly. Or how we respond to it. Yeah. How long did after, um, the injury did you start feeling that way more in control of your life?

 

Matt:

Yeah, I don’t know that that was really gradually, slowly because, you know, first I had to get up the brain damage took years. I mean, years to the brain, heal heals, but it heals very slowly. And I’m super lucky, um, because I know a lot of people with TBIs and a lot of people with brain damage that were nowhere, that are nowhere near as fortunate as me and have to deal with a ton of side effects. Um, including, you know, memory loss, motor function issues, you know, depre, all kind of problems mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, that I am very fortunate not to have. Um, so I don’t, it, I guess it kind of came along slowly. Certainly the, the birth of my son changed me. Yeah. Um, the realization that, uh, I was going to die, a very mean and unhappy person changed me. And then even then, you know, when I thought I was doing good, I, I had a hard time separating myself from what I thought, you know, what I thought was my talents.

Because when you’re angry, um, it gives you a ton of energy mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and it’s very easy to use that energy to get things done. And if you do use that energy to get things done, it will work. But if you use that energy to get things done in the wrong way, uh, it’s gonna work, but it’s gonna make you an asshole. Right. You know, whereas choosing to use that energy in, in, in a positive, in a truly positive way, requires a lot more than just putting forth the energy. Um, you know, I hustled for, for years and, and was very successful and turned that, you know, into, virtually, into a small empire. And I thought that I was helping people and, you know, by giving people jobs and training people and, you know, creating this like soul dress botanical, um, culture within my workforce, uh, and we killed it. We kicked ass. I mean, nobody touched us. But at the same time, when I look back at that time now, I realized that even though I was providing, you know, financial security and safety for people, those people were terrified of me. Oh, yeah. You know? Yeah. And didn’t know, you know, what was coming next or what I was gonna do, or, you know, how how it was all gonna roll out took a while for me to realize that financial security and and that type of security isn’t necessarily the best. Yeah.

 

Cannabeth:

Well, it’s different.

 

Matt:

It’s different. But I also realize that, you know, being kind to someone doesn’t mean being nice to them. <laugh> True. And that’s often overlooked in our society today. You don’t have to be nice to be helpful. Right. I mean, sometimes helping people is by being not nice to them.

 

Cannabeth:

Right. Right.

 

Matt:

Uh, so that they understand

 

Cannabeth:

Work on their own. Right.

 

Matt:

You know, it’s all pointed me to the direction I am now, which mm-hmm. <affirmative>, which I’m very happy of the TR trajectory and the, you know, the partnership that, that deedee and I have, the partnership I have with my, with my life partner, aka wife, who’s not technically my wife. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we won’t get into that. And my son

 

Cannabeth:

Is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. You’re both

 

Matt:

Amazing. So, um, um, very thankful for every day that I get after, you know, after what I’ve been through, so mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I would, I would hope that anyone else suffering out there that would hear this would, would feel the same way, or at least start that path to feel the same way. Okay. Because it does feel awesome, even though it’s hard. It’s, it’s very hard.

 

Cannabeth:

Anything worth having is is gonna be hard work takes work. Right,

 

Matt:

Right. 100%. True.

 

Cannabeth:

When did you discover CBD that at, at helping you with, with your tbi?

 

Matt:

So, um, I actually discovered CBD I went, I, I couldn’t use cannabis right after for a few years after I got shot because, uh, just whatever was going on with my, my neural pathways, it would cause me to hallucinate. Um, and it would cause me to feel very, very strange. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, almost like, uh, otherworldly strange. Um, so I avoided it for years mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and then slowly started reintroducing myself about the time I moved to Kentucky. Um, so about 15, 16 years ago, maybe a little longer than that. I’ve been here so long. I can, this is the longest I’ve lived anywhere. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But anyway, um, yeah. Um, so I started using cannabis and that was, uh, that was beneficial. Um, and then I became a kind of, the safety, a safety inspector was one of my responsibilities at my last company. So I discontinued cannabis use cause I didn’t wanna be a hypocrite. Right, right. At that time. Um, and then I got to the point where I was, uh, really all of this stuff was coming to the, to a head. Um, and I knew I had, I, I needed some help because I felt like I was on the verge of getting where I am.

 

Cannabeth:

You never got on all the prescription pills or anything?

 

Matt:

Oh, 100% I got on those

 

Cannabeth:

Prescription pills. Oh, did you? Okay. Oh, yeah.

 

Matt:

Okay. I, I was taking everything mm-hmm. <affirmative>, Xanax, Adderall, anti-seizure medication. Right. Alzheimer’s medication, all that shit. That’ll kill you. Wow. And then, uh, that’s a whole other podcast.

 

Cannabeth:

I know, right.

 

Matt:

Uh, because I, I quit that stuff, cold Turkey, which was another interesting experience.

 

Cannabeth:

Not smart, right,

 

Matt:

<laugh>. Yeah. That was, uh,

 

Cannabeth:

You do things your way to different,

 

Matt:

That was different <laugh>. Um, that was two weeks of losing my mind. No. Um, but anyway, um, and so I started using CBD, uh, and it worked and

 

Cannabeth:

It replaced all of those other medications. It did

 

Matt:

For you. It, well, um, the other medications were, were, it’s ironic because the other medications were actually preventative. Like they didn’t want me to have a seizure. Right. They didn’t want this to happen. Alzheimer. So they gave me all these drugs. Well, the Alzheimer’s was be, was, was because I, I was having some memory lapses mm-hmm. <affirmative> at one point that, that, that was concerning. Um, but certainly not Alzheimer medication, in my opinion, was not the answer. Um, anyway. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. So I took, um, I took, uh, CBD and it tasted terrible, but it worked. Um, and then I found Dee Dee and I tried her stuff

 

Cannabeth:

And it tastes so good, and it tasted great and it

 

Matt:

Works, and it worked. So I thought, man, you know, um, and about at that time, I had separated from, from the c previous company I was working for. Um, and I had, you know, a little bit of cash looking to invest and, and I, uh, I saw 502 Hemp and Dee Dee and I, I basically begged her to become a part of it. Um, and then once she realized the skills that I could bring to the table, which at first she, I think she just thought I was a nut. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> or another nut. Mm-hmm.

 

Cannabeth:

<affirmative>, we kind of did. Yeah.

 

Matt:

<laugh>, but, well nut. But there were a few people like in, in, uh, you know, our circle that were like, this guy’s a legit businessman. He, he knows what he’s doing mm-hmm. <affirmative> or he knows how to make money and he knows how to do this and do that. I, I think that, that that’s where, you know, Dee Dee’s wheelhouse ended because deedee bless her, is, how can I help? You know, and then, you know, they, well, that’s, well, our core value, you also have to make money if you’re gonna help people. Right. Because if, if you don’t make money, you, and you can help so many people. And then when you’re outta money, you can’t help anyone. Right.

 

Cannabeth:

So, so, so you had tried other CBD products and before you discovered 502 or

 

Matt:

Yeah, I did. Okay. I did. 

 

Cannabeth:

Um, I just think it’s fascinating. I mean, you weren’t thinking of going into like holistic medicine or plant medicine, anything. Not at all. You just said, Hey, I like this stuff.

 

Matt:

It, well, you know what, um, the first thing I noticed was that it worked. Right. Right. And it’s like, wow, this actually works. And then the more research I did, the more it fascinated me.

 

Cannabeth:

Um, and you were body building and stuff then too, correct? Correct.

 

Matt:

So, uh, well, CrossFit competition. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. I was doing CrossFit mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I, I’d given up the body building stuff after, or bef prior to that. Yeah. Um, but yeah. Yeah. So I had all kind of benefits. It’s, it was the oldest medicine, but at the same time cutting edge.

 

Cannabeth:

I know. 

 

Matt:

That’s what so fun about. And it was super risky, which I like sometimes some that’s like what makes my back of the hair and my neck tingle sometimes cuz I’m like, oh my God, this is, adrenal is risky, but it’s, it’s kind of a good risk because this is something I can get behind. Um, so that’s kind of, we’re we’re where it went. And I had, I had a few concepts that I had drummed up and, and kind of abandoned. Um, prior to meeting Dee Dee <affirmative>, Dee Dee had already had a system. Like she already had her brand out, so mm-hmm. <affirmative> allowing me to be a part of that was, was pretty cool.

 

Cannabeth:

I’m glad you found this. Yeah.

 

Matt:

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So we have gone way past our normal time. Yeah. Oh no. Um, so we should probably wrap this up. Uh, I appreciate y’all for listening to, uh, this, uh, pouring of guts and participation with Beth.

 

Cannabeth:

I think it’s good for people to tell their story because people think you just instantly become successful by, by thinking a certain way or, um, doing certain things. But it’s really from the trauma that you went through that kind of pushed you into that. And that’s, like he said, that’s how heroes are born, is overcoming something and making you stronger. Yeah. So we do appreciate you sharing that. Well, thank you. Not many people walk around with a bullet in their head.

 

Matt:

No, no. It’s, no, you’re one of, it’s one of those things. No MRIs. No MRIs for me.

 

Cannabeth:

If I ever need to upset you gonna just bring a magnet and hope to the back of your head.

 

Matt:

Well, you know, I used to set off the metal detectors, but not anymore. Okay, good. I think that the, there’s a, there’s a cyst wrapped around it now that

 

Cannabeth:

You,

 

Matt:

Right. Yeah. And I think that that’s enough to buffer it out, but Oh yeah. I used to set off those every time fun to

 

Cannabeth:

Go to the

 

Matt:

Airport west, the wand Yeah. Over and, and set it right off. So I know. Anyway.

 

Cannabeth:

Well, we love you for that. <laugh>, <laugh>.

 

Matt:

The X-rays are

 

Cannabeth:

Fun. Yeah, yeah, sure.

 

Matt:

I love, I love it when I

 

Cannabeth:

Switch dentists. Yeah. <laugh>, they’re always

 

Matt:

Like,

 

Cannabeth:

What? Right, right. Yeah.

 

Matt:

That’s why is that, why is that piece of tooth in the back of his head? Right. Cause that’s, it looks like, you

 

Cannabeth:

Know, like

 

Matt:

Something

 

Cannabeth:

That’s funny.

 

Matt:

Yeah. Yeah, because it’s a two, it’s two x-rays or two D so it just, they’re like, what the hell?

 

Cannabeth:

I know. What is that? I know. That’s

 

Matt:

<laugh>. Anyway. All right, well thanks for listening, y’all, uh, appreciate it. Thank you Beth, for filling in. You’re welcome. Really appreciate that. And um, I hope y’all keep it hempy out there and have a great time.

 

Cannabeth:

Yes, all the time, <laugh>. Bye. Bye. Bye.

 

Dee Dee:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Hemp and Happiness with the hemp

 

Matt:

Queen and emperor.

 

Dee Dee:

Keep your mind over open and expanding, like, subscribe, review, follow us, all the good stuff and

 

Matt:

Keep it out there.